Even smart, sexy, and successful people — people like yourself, of course — can struggle in the dating world. Where do you go? What do you say? How can you get your date to come back for more? Take this short quiz to find out how much you know about being a great date.
1. What’s the single most important step when preparing for a date?
a. Developing a positive mindset
b. Making a mental list of icebreaker questions
c. Learning a few good jokes
d. Making yourself look as appealing as possible
2. Which of these topics should be strictly off-limits during a first date?
a. Children
b. Politics
c. Religion
d. None of the above
3. You should avoid quiet, awkward moments at all cost. If there’s a lull in the conversation, say something quickly.
____True
____False
4. Dating coach Sharlene Talbott says men often complain to her about their past dates. What’s their number one gripe?
a. Women who talk about old boyfriends
b. Women who only talk about themselves
c. Women who order the most expensive meals
d. Poor table manners
5. What’s the most common mistake that men make on dates?
a. Talking about old girlfriends
b. Talking too much about themselves
c. Spending too much (or too little) money
d. Poor table manners
6. Which of these is an ideal activity for a first date?
a. Watching a romantic movie in a theater
b. Eating lunch at a quiet restaurant
c. Riding mountain bikes
d. All of the above
7. Bold, sudden moves are usually the best way to get that goodnight kiss — or more — on a first date.
____True
____False
Your Results
1. What’s the single most important step when preparing for a date?
The correct answer is: a. Developing a positive mindset
Nothing kills fun and romance like a negative attitude. Dates, like horses, can sense fear, not to mention anxiety and nervousness. “You can do the right thing but give off the wrong feeling,” dating coach Sharlene Talbott says. By all means, look your best and be prepared to keep the conversation rolling. But above all else, convince yourself that you will try to have fun no matter what.
2. Which of these topics should be strictly off-limits during a first date?
The correct answer is: d. None of the above
If you really want to get to know a person, important topics like politics, religion, and feelings about children shouldn’t be ignored. According to dating coach Talbott, many relationships run into trouble because people shirk these issues until it’s too late.
3. You should avoid quiet, awkward moments at all cost. If there’s a lull in the conversation, say something quickly.
The correct answer is: False
Even if you come prepared with icebreaking questions and possess a natural flair for conversation, a few silences are inevitable. Don’t panic, and don’t rush to say the first thing that comes into your head. Instead, take it as the perfect opportunity to butter your roll or slowly sip your drink.
4. Dating coach Sharlene Talbott says men often complain to her about their past dates. What’s their number one gripe?
The correct answer is: a. Women who talk about old boyfriends
Nobody wants to hear long stories about ex-flames on a first date. If your date asks about your ex, just say something vague like “It just didn’t work out.”
5. What’s the most common mistake that men make on dates?
The correct answer is: b. Talking too much about themselves
Remember, you’re on a date, not a filibuster. As Talbott puts it, if you’ve heard nothing but your own voice for five minutes, it’s time to give up the floor. Ask your date some questions and give him or her a chance to talk.
6. Which of these is an ideal activity for a first date?
The correct answer is: b. Eating lunch at a quiet restaurant
There are exceptions to everything, but in general, first dates are a time for conversation and connection — something that’s hard to achieve in a movie theater, on a mountain bike trail, or while you’re checking your cell phone. Coffee shops and restaurants are the ideal venues for first dates, Talbott says. Movies, dancing, and sporting activities are better suited for later dates. “You don’t want to go out to dinner every time,” she says. “You want to see how the person reacts in different situations.”
7. Bold, sudden moves are usually the best way to get that goodnight kiss — or more — on a first date.
The correct answer is: False
Instead of ambushing your date at the porch, initiate a little physical closeness early in the evening. Talbot recommends touching your date’s hand lightly during a conversation. If that touch goes well, you can linger a little longer next time, and later, move on to a hug. If he or she doesn’t immediately tense up or pull away, a kiss probably isn’t out of the question. And if that goes well…it’s time for a different quiz.
References
Interview with Sharlene Talbott, MSW, dating coach and relationship counselor. (http://www.AssuredSuccess.com)
Nancy Wesson, Ph.D. Dating tips for shy people.
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